(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaaf leader Jahangir Khan Tareen has said that the recent ‘acquisition’ of independent members of national and provincial assemblies should not be criticised and that it was in line with the PTI’s principled stance of spending on people instead of foolhardy infrastructure projects like Metrobuses and the Orange Line project.
“We are spending on people, many of whom are from deprived areas,” said Tareen, while speaking to reporters aboard his private aircraft. “Look at where these fellows are from. Rajanpur, Thar, Bhakkar. These are the boondocks. Okay, we’ve also spent on some of them from developed areas like Faisalabad and Multan, but even that comes under the category of spending on people. Human development.”
“Earlier, these poor people could only afford to contest elections. Now, with this crucially expanded fiscal space, they will be in a position to contest elections again and also have several crore rupees left over.”
“I hope they can afford to educate their kids now,” he said. “At Harvard.”