Dope company orders inquiry into product quality after Ahmed Shehzad tested positive | Pakistan Today

Dope company orders inquiry into product quality after Ahmed Shehzad tested positive

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

LAHORE – The company that makes the performance enhancing substance for which cricketer Ahmed Shehzad has tested positive has recalled all its products from the market and is implementing a quality check, The Dependent has learnt.

The senior management of undisclosed firm, which hasn’t faced such a setback in the past, is not only looking at a possible revamp of its product, many senior officials are expected to be given the axe.

“Heads are going to roll here – maybe mine as well,” a senior manager said while talking to The Dependent. “Ahmed Shehzad has been taking our product. If our name is leaked, no athlete is ever going to use our product for performance enhancement.”

“Maybe there is a case of our product needing to take a performance enhancement drug,” the official concluded.

Meanwhile, the Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB) is divided over the action that is to be taken against Shehzad and the duration of the ban.

“On the one hand, this is possibly the only positive thing that Ahmed Shezad has done for Pakistan cricket,” said a PCB official. “But, on the other, when he is not banned he somehow manages to be a part of the national side, one way or the other.”

The Dependent

The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.



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