(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
Once again risking his life for purposes of journalistic integrity, war correspondent Wajahat S Khan has crossed enemy lines to by making a paid, corporate, documentary about tea whiteners to dispel rumours that tea whitener corporates don’t pay well.
“I had one thing and only one thing in mind when I made this documentary – that people should know that tea whitener corporates pay well. And the fat cheque they wrote me has gone a long way in proving that they really do pay really really well.”
“People have said that the documentary cannot be an investigative report because the company in question was giving me money to make it. To that I say the investigation was about whether they would give me lots of money for it or not – and I am happy to report they have” he went on to say.
“It was a great challenge for me. I slipped while shooting the scene where I get out of my car and take my shades off. We had to do that from the top.”
“I also had to meet with and interview middle management people and wear a hair net even though I tried to explain that I have no hair – but I persisted – all to prove that tea whitener corporates pay well” he said.
“I didn’t do this for me. I did this for you – the public – and for the sake of the truth.”
“Never have so many owed so much to so few. In fact to just one. On second thought, to just me” Wajahat ended.