(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer)
In a strongly worded message to the media, the nation’s uncles have expressed their anger over the overshadowing of news regarding that Czech model arrested at the airport for smuggling drugs by the constant barrage of political coverage the media has been feeding them.
“Do you think we don’t see what you’re trying to do by not telling us the latest updates regarding that Czech model? This is a story of national importance for God’s sake!” said Ahmad Siddiqi in one of the presser that the nation’s uncles held at the Lahore, Karachi, and Islamabad press clubs.
“Every time we turn on the television it is Nawaz Sharif this, or Saqib Nisar that. Stop distracting us with this crap because this media blackout won’t work” he added.
“If you think your little news reports on judicial coups and civil-military relations are enough to draw our attention away from that Czech model, then you are mistaken!” he ended.
“It started with certain media outlets, and we took that in stride because it was expected of those stooges, but then it spread to all of them” complained Asghar Hussain, the main complainant at the Lahore Press Club.
“Even City 42 wont report it anymore, and they report everything!” he added.
The nation’s uncles have also issued a joint list of demands to the media.
“We demand that all newspapers carry new pictures of the Czech model every day, and that television channels report on it at least thrice a day, prime time included, with fresh footage every second day” read the list of demands.
“We also wish that Miss Tereza Hluskova be given a nickname which is easier to pronounce” it went on to say.