(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
Hot on the heels of the ban on the Bollywood film Padman by the Central Board of Film Sensors, the courts have placed a ban on menstruation itself.
“The views of the court in this matter are the same as that of the censor board,” read the judgment.
“Much like films made on this topic are unsuitable for consumption by our local audiences, the very circumstances that supposedly necessitate such films should also be nipped in the bud.”
The decision was bound to lead to a problematic follow-up and the government is already worried about the issue of implementation.
“I really don’t know how I can begin to enforce implementation of the order,” said Ghazal Ahmed, federal minister of state for women’s development.
“Not only are they going to hold me in contempt, they might also make me ineligible to contest the next elections.”
“I don’t know how to explain the issue,” said Prof Dr Rakhshanda Khattak, professor of gynecology at the Khyber Medical College.
“I mean, of course I know how to explain it; I do it every day to my students. But how to explain it to the Lordships, given their….condition?”