(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
ISLAMABAD/NEW DELHI – Muslim fundamentalist groups across the Indian subcontinent, including but not limited to the Jamaat-e-Islami in Pakistan, India and Bangladesh, have decided to drop the idea of protesting against Bollywood movie Padmaavat after reconfirming that the film really really outraged Rajput fundamentalists.
The decision came after the JI and other multinational Islamist groups reached consensus that their own outraged sentiments weren’t worth the same weight as the relief they would provide their Hindu counterparts if the film is taken down.
It is pertinent to mention here that radical Muslims have found the film’s depiction of the Khilji rulers worthy of being offended over, but haven’t as yet announced the offence as a collective sentiment till press time.
“Minus the fact that Hindus are really really upset, which we really really would like them to be, the film won’t have lasted a day in Pakistan,” a local Islamist from a proscribed outfit told The Dependent.
“But sometimes you have to sacrifice the small to achieve the big. We won’t want to extinguish the fires that have lit in India, even if we might be completely capable of lighting bigger ones.”