Butcher of Swat released because bail plea was neither too short nor too long | Pakistan Today

Butcher of Swat released because bail plea was neither too short nor too long

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
Sufi Muhammad, the disgraced leader of the proscribed TNSM, has been released after his plea bargain was deemed of an appropriate length.
“Well, he was bound to be released,” said Babar Sattar, a legal analyst. “True, he had directly challenged the writ of state and had, through the TTP-Swat, reduced the former princely state, one of the most peaceful in the country, to utter chaos, resulting in the displacement of the entire Malakand Division’s people. But the perfect length of the plea was too compelling for it not to be entertained.”
The Pakistan Fashion Design Council has also weighed in on the issue. “Flirty, yet not prudish, the plea was perfect,” said Sehyr Hassan, chairperson. “OMG, what was not to love?”
Speaking to The Dependent, Baba Rehmat remarked that all long as important – and appropriate – issue are addressed, the problems of militancy and the question of whether or not we have a functioning state, seem like small fry.
The Dependent

The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.



Related posts

Top