(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer)
In the aftermath of the resignation of former finance minister, and current finance minister of hearts, Ishaq Dar, the portfolio is going to be held by Mr Xiao Jie.
Jie is expected to hold the portfolio till at least the upcoming elections in 2018. He brings with him a diverse work experience, having been China’s finance minister since 2016. He previously served as Deputy Secretary-General of the State Council and chief of staff of Premier Li Keqiang.
“自己做这件事是很好的,” said Jie, while speaking to reporters. “而不是发送指示.”
“如果事情变糟，不要担心,” he continued. “我会让它快速，无痛.”
It remains to be seen whether he is going to continue at the position after the polls take place.
“Doesn’t make a difference,” said Khurram Hussain, a national economy expert. “Doesn’t make a difference at all. They’re in charge anyway.”