LAHORE – A couple from Lahore’s Wapda Town area looks set to become the first to get married in Facebook’s ‘Other Messages’, The Dependent has learnt. Reports confirmed that vows would be exchanged in the same window following the nikkah today.
This has transpired after Parveen aka Pino (Dad’Z dOll on Facebook), in an unprecedented move, accepted the marriage proposal of Alla Deen, based on his first message on Facebook.
Talking to The Dependent, Pino said. “I was getting bored of posting headless photos and Paulo Coelho quotations accompanied by flowers on Facebook when I decided to dive head-first into the ‘Other Messages’ part of Facebook messenger and among a deluge of messages such as ‘Hey sexy’, ‘You look cute’, ‘want fraandship wd u’ and dozens of unsolicited ‘private’ pics, I found Alla Deen’s straightforward marriage proposal which instantly touched my heart and I decided to accept his friend request.”
According to sources privy to the matter, Alla Deen had sent the same message to 459,876 girls on Facebook over the past two years.
The message read: “Hello Dear How are you? I am seriously interested in having you my life partner, Most respective, beautiful and loving relation. You are highly respected for me same like my family ladies. I hope after reading compliments you will comfortable communicating me. I am most loving caring, fun loving, nice and loyal man. Interested in marriage with educated and good family background girl….Kindly let me know if you are are interested. Bye. Thanks.”
Ally ShAh, President of ‘Pakistan Fraandshipers Society’ hailed this decision by Pino as a breakthrough and advised the ten million members of his clan to be patient, straightforward, respectful and creepy enough to attract girls using such messages instead of the usual ‘Hello Jaan, how are you’ messages.
Urea Masala Jangjoo (UMJ), foremost intellectual of Pakistan announced a hunger strike upon hearing this news and asked his forty million followers to stop their daughters from using Zionist social media platforms.