Imran shaken as no insulting adjective for World XI coming to mind

 

The Pakistan Tehrik i Insaaf (PTI) Chairman Imran Khan has not been able to find a suitable adjective to describe the World XI cricket team, and is facing a subsequent existential crisis, The Dependent has learnt.

According to sources, the PTI chairman has been hard at work looking into important matters of future party policy, including exactly what derogatory term the PTI would be cannonising as its officialtake on the World XI.

However, The Dependent was told that the search has not come to head, and that yesterday, Khan flipped a table in frustration causing himself a minor head wound on the temple in the process, and becoming decidedly more philosophical since.

After his infamous labelling of the players that played the PSL final in Lahore as ‘Phateecher,’ Khan reportedly wanted to come up with something even better and earth shattering. However not finding a suitable adjective despite his Aitchison and Oxford education is putting Imran through an existential crisis due to conveniently placed sources.

Speaking to The Dependent on phone, an audibly shaken Khan said that he had tried his best but could not come up with anything that would fit the World XI.

“They’re just too good! They aren’t phateecher. I can’t even call them have beens or wannabes!” said Khan while twirling a cigarette and expounding some on the pointlessness of life.

“By the way. You know I’m a sportsman, and fitness is key for sports. I’m still fit enough to flip a heavy wooden table. This shows I should be PM” he later added to his rant.

Meanwhile, inside sources provided The Dependent with the initial list of reasons Imran Khan had drafted as to why the World XI series was not a good idea. It contained the following:

  1. Matches not nearly as good as 92 World Cup final
  2. Is cricket even cricket if Imran Khan is not playing?
  3. No great cpataincy or cornered tigers approach
  4. World XI team should be called Patwaris XI, haha.
The Dependent

The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.



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