Replace ‘outdated’ C for Cat with C for Calibri, renowned linguist Noam Chomsky advises | Pakistan Today

Replace ‘outdated’ C for Cat with C for Calibri, renowned linguist Noam Chomsky advises

ISLAMABAD – Linguists and noted grammarians from all over the world have decided to replace cat with Calibri for children learning to associate objects with a particular word.

The decision was taken at a meeting of language experts. The members voted unanimously in favour of the suggestion, first put forward by noted linguist Noam Chomsky.

C for Chomsky, who revolutionised the field of Human Sciences with his works, said children of the future need something that is “more frequently used than the word cat”.

“C for cat has become a thing of the past. We are living in 2017, not 2006. Today’s generation has a strong vocabulary. Even a child could differentiate between Panama City and Panama Papers,” he added.

Equally illustrious linguists from Punjab Tariq Teddy and Naseem Vicky have also advised changing the long redundant C for Cat and looking for something more ‘contemporary and relatable.’

The duo have given the Punjab education ministry a list of their favourite words to ponder. The list, which has all of Teddy and Vicky’s most frequently used words in descending orders, is the longest collection of C-words ever assembled in a single document, Guinness has confirmed.

Meanwhile, Federal Interior Minister Chaudhary Nisar has also backed the move, advising some editions to replace C for Cat with C for Chaudhary. He has also warned publishers against typographical errors, which could render their license cancelled.

The Dependent

The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.