KARACHI: Chief Minister Sindh Murad Ali Shah officially asked for assistance by Pakistan Army soldiers to invigilate the province’s board exams. “We have literally tried every trick in the invigilators guidebook but nothing seems to work, heck we even did the old ‘invigilator wearing sunglasses so the kids can’t see where he’s looking trick’ ” a befuddled Shah explained while visiting an exam center.
Incidents of leaked question papers and videos of kids fearlessly using their smartphones to solve papers emerged recently. “You see the only three ways to get these (unintelligible) to do anything is money, fear or food. As a policy we don’t spend too much on education or food so we went with fear and got some AK47’s up in this (unintelligible)” explained Jam Mehtab Dhar, provincial minister for Education and Literacy.
Speaking to The Dependent on condition of anonymity a former calculator booty expert said “kids these days can store entire formula sheets on their calculators, back in our day the most creative thing we did with calculators was typing in ‘5318008’and turning it upside down”. He then, with a smirk on his face, went staring off into space.
At time of filing this report the final board exam, ‘Arts and Crafts’, was wrapping up under strict invigilation by Pak Army Jawaans. It was incident free.